8/3/23
A few things about my dad: my earliest memory of him was driving around Queens, a Marlboro red in one hand, the other on the wheel, with me in his lap. How I loved and begged all the time to “drive.” My dad would tell me what were supposed to be scary stories, then he would let out the loudest and scariest laugh you have ever heard. I will forever hear that laughter; no one could ever duplicate it. My dad called me Pumpkin, even as an adult. He would make us play games in the car, like word chains using only cities or places and other
silly things to pass the time. He would randomly turn off the main road onto a side road, blast the music if it was a song he liked, and make us all get out and dance. Years later, he would be forced to make tik-toks with my girls. My dad was the best. He was fun and loud but also stubborn and rigid.
During my teen years, we had a more distant relationship, my parents were divorced, and I lived with my mom most of the time. As the years passed, our relationship became much stronger; we spoke almost daily, and he played a huge role in my life. We got to know each other as adults. After my husband passed, he became my go-to for everything from parenting decisions to insurance and so much more. I was so unsure of everything, and he was my rock. He was tough, though, and if he felt I was wrong, he wasn’t afraid to speak up, but ultimately he’d always call back to say he loved me, and we moved on.
My dad died during covid, and I have yet to face the reality that he is gone; perhaps my grief from other losses has overshadowed his loss, which is hard to acknowledge for me. Or maybe I am just numb to another loss. Either way, I hope that by writing this, I can somehow begin to face the loss of this larger-than-life human. His loss hit my family hard, as he also played a tremendous role in my children's lives. He was “Fun Poppy” and was always there if they needed him. After my husband's death, he also stepped up for my children, especially my son. I will eternally be grateful to him for that. It feels very surreal to me that he is not here. We never got to say goodbye. With that devilish grin, my dad always said, “Only the good die young, so I’ll be around for a very long time." I guess he didn’t realize what the rest of us knew all along; he was so good, one of the best!
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